The Insane Crossover Story Chapter Two

Tabby squinted across the long expanse of green grassland they were crossing. "What in the world is that?" she asked in alarm, seeing something of interest.

"Oh, it looks scary," Tess, Merry Treat's Meowth, shuddered.

A muscle-bound human figure was running towards them, holding a sword high in the air. He was clad in a simple fur cloth around his waist and a gray vest.

"This looks bad," Merry Treat gulped.

"As long as it's not a dues-collector from M.A.V.O," Tweeg said to himself.

"I HAVE THE POWER!" the figure was shouting at the top of his lungs. The gap between him and the travelers was quickly closing...

Tess covered her eyes. "I didn't think it'd end like this," she moaned.

Tarquin-- a fellow Meowth who belonged to Tabby-- placed a paw on her shoulder. "I won't let it get you," he consoled.

Tabby was usually clueless in situations like this; but suddenly, she was struck by inspiration. She abruptly pushed Tweeg over and sent him rolling a short distance across the grass; then she leaped to safety herself. The figure's sword crashed into the very spot where Tweeg had been standing a second ago.

Tabby was immediately back in action, and jumped in front of the figure. "How dare you threaten Tweeg like that!" she said menacingly.

Tweeg sat up and rubbed his head. "Please, sir, if you're from M.A.V.O..." he trailed off.

"You must be an evil snake-man sent by King Hiss!" the figure continued. "And I, He-Man, shall exterminate you from the land!"

"You're He-Man?" Merry Treat raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Spearow, row," Spearow (belonging to Merry Treat) confided in Tarquin.

"Yes, what does M.A.V.O. have to do with this King Hiss?" Tarquin agreed.

"I'm not a snake-man," Tweeg said indignantly. "Just ask my mother."

"He's an alchemist," Tabby interrupted.

He-Man pulled his sword out of the ground and put it back in its sheath. "An alchemist? Like a wizard? Perhaps you'd like to meet a friend of mine."

"This is weird," Tarquin muttered.

"Row," Spearow agreed.

He-Man turned around and called, "Orko! Come out and meet these travelers!"

"He-Man, or whoever you are," Merry Treat started, "I hope you're not planning on doing harm to any of us."

"I am sorry to have mistaken you for a snake-man, Tweeg," He-Man apologized. "I can see now that I was wrong."

"I'd rather be in the company of L.B. than you, He-Man," Tweeg sniffed. "Oh, good L.B!"

Suddenly, a short, human-like figure appeared-- seemingly out of nowhere-- at He-Man's side. This figure, however, was floating in mid-air. "Meet my friend, Orko," He-Man said.

This strange creature was dressed in a red robe and a pointy red hat. Only his eyes could be seen out of the depths of his hood. In his hands, he held a large, mysterious-looking book. He floated around Tabby and Merry Treat before saying anything. "He-Man, I thought we were in search of snake-men."

"These travelers fight on the side of goodness, Orko," He-Man explained. "And I sense they are in search of something."

"Oh, in that case, maybe I can help..." Orko began flipping through the pages of his book.

"This guy makes wild leaps in logic just like those people in some of Spike's Godzilla movies I've seen!" Tabby exclaimed.

He-Man turned to Merry Treat and the others. "Perhaps you would like to introduce yourselves," he suggested. "And why are you wandering across this plain?"

"Do we trust him?" Tabby whispered to Merry Treat.

"With this He-Man's help, I just might be able to declare myself Supreme Oppressor," Tweeg plotted.

"Why, that's a good idea!" Tabby exclaimed.

"I don't see any problems with him," Tess declared. "Mr. He-Man, I'm Tess. Then there's Tarquin, Spearow, Merry Treat, Tabby, and Tweeg."

"I am pleased to make your acquaintances," He-Man said.

"Do you always run around in clothes like that, He-Man? And we're on a quest to seek revenge on an evil movie reviewer," Tabby explained.

"An evil movie reviewer? This could be one of Skeletor's plots to discover the secrets of Castle Grayskull," He-Man decided.

"Umm, who's this Skeletor?" Merry Treat asked tentatively.

"A villain who wants to fill the world with evil," He-Man declared.

"Don't they all," Tabby muttered.

"I wish I could be better at that," Tweeg sighed.

"Don't worry about it," Tess consoled Tweeg. "You're great the way you are."

"Orko and I will accompany you on your journey," He-Man decided, and turned to Orko. "Orko, we must forget about King Hiss and his snake-men for now, and find out more about this movie reviewer."

Orko suddenly looked up from his book. "Movie reviewer? I think I know just what can help us out." He posed a hand over the page he had opened to.

"Remember what happened the last time you summoned up a demon, Orko," He-Man reminded.

Tarquin, Merry Treat, and Tabby all exchanged horrified glances. "Ah-hem," Tabby said boldly, "I do not want anyone on our team that summons up demons."

Orko looked downcast, but closed up his book. "Aww. I just wanted somebody else to play with."

"Orko did not mean to offend you," He-Man said quickly. "I will make sure he keeps his behavior under control. We would both love to come along with you."

"Hmm." Tabby paused in thought. "If you want to join up on our team... we just have to do one thing. Tarquin, go to it!"

Obligingly, Tarquin leaped at Orko and snatched the book out of his hands. Orko cried out in distress, but Tarquin ripped the precious book to shreds with his needle-sharp claws.

"It is okay, Orko," He-Man consoled his friend. "You will be able to get another magic book."

"I guess," Orko sniffled. "As long as I still get to come along."

Tabby hunted around in Tarquin's backpack for a few supplies. Extracting a pad of paper and a pen, she sat down to write:


#1-- Any members of this team shall not insult or threaten Tweeg. Insultors or threateners will be dealt with severely by Tarquin, Tess, and/or Spearow.

#2-- No members of this team shall summon up demons for any reason whatsoever. Summoners will be dealt with severely by Tarquin, Tess, and/or Spearow.

Tabby looked up from her work proudly and showed it to He-Man and Orko. "You have to sign this to be allowed to join us," she explained. "However, if you decide not to sign, you'll be dealt with severely by Tarquin, Tess, and/or Spearow."

"You do know how to write?" Tarquin prodded.

He-Man and Orko scribbled down their names using the pen Tabby handed them. "Hee hee, this'll be fun!" Orko exclaimed. "Even if I don't have my magic book."

Merry Treat looked over what Tabby had written. "I have another regulation to add," she declared, and scribbled down:

#3-- No members shall insult the team in any way, shape, or form. If you do, you shall be dealt with severely by Sailor Fauna (i.e. moon-dusted).

"Very good," Tabby said in approval. "Tarquin, Tess, all of you. Sign your names as well."

With that taken care of, Tabby tucked the pad away for safe-keeping. And now, with their dealings with He-Man sealed, they continued on.

Orko suddenly pulled something out from the depths of his cloak. "Hey! I just remembered I have this on me. Would one of you like it?" He displayed a rolled-up paper in his blue hands.

"Is it a recipe for a new kind of potion?" Tweeg asked excitedly.

Tarquin cautiously took the roll from Orko, and slowly spread it out in his paws, as if expecting a monster to leap out of it. "Cool! A map!" he cried out loud. "Look at all the different lands listed on this thing!"

Tess stood close to Tarquin's side. "Why, this must show all the places in the universe!" she said in awe.

"Of course. You couldn't be a master of the universe without one," Orko explained.

"Orko is a very talented court jester," He-Man added. "I didn't know you still had that map on you."

"Row!" Spearow said excitedly.

"It'll certainly come in handy on this quest," Merry Treat admitted. "See? There's Ponyland, the Dark Forest, Grundo... every place we could dream of going!"

"They even have an ‘X' where Mommy's house is!" Tweeg commented.

"I hate maps," Tabby said in boredom. "Back in seventh grade, I could never stand doing work with maps--"

"But maps leading to treasures are good," Tweeg daydreamed.

"I'll keep this with me," Tarquin said as he efficiently rolled the large map up again and stuck it in his backpack. "We've still got a long stretch of grassland to go across."

"Spearow, row, spearow, spear!" Spearow chattered.

"You're right, Spearow," Merry Treat agreed, stifling a yawn. "It's getting late. We should make camp for the night."

"Do we have to build a fire? I don't want to build a fire. It sounds like it would be terribly hard to do. Come on, doesn't anyone else want to?" Tabby rambled on as night began to settle over the land.

Tess got together a bedtime snack of bread and butter for everyone; and then they all set about getting ready for their nighttime rest, ignoring Tabby's complaining.

* * *

Tabby tossed and turned in her sleeping bag much later that night. She'd been trying to get to sleep for hours now, but Tarquin and Tess had stayed up late talking. Tabby simply could not sleep with the sound of talking in her ears. Now they were asleep, but Tabby hadn't gotten that far yet.

This is so boring, Tabby thought to herself. There's not a thing to do in the dead of night when you can't sleep. She watched the flickering flames of the campfire that Tweeg and Orko had built (she'd weaseled her way out of helping on that).

She rubbed her eyes. Was she the only one in the world that couldn't sleep at this exact moment? Hmm... what was that? Tabby sat up straight in her sleeping bag. There was another mysterious figure lurking around the fire! She was sure she'd just seen someone!

Well, there's someone else in the same boat I am, she mused as she contentedly lay back down. Wonder what that guy's doing. Tabby watched the figure walking around everyone's sleeping bags. But just then, the light of the flames hit him just right so Tabby could get a better picture of the stranger.

"Ugh! You have got to do something about that awful blue skin color!" Tabby exclaimed aloud.

The stranger whirled around to face Tabby. He was about He-Man's height, but his skin was a pale blue color-- and his face was colored a strange green, with his eye sockets sunk oddly into his face. His outfit was also quite similar to He-Man's, only a dark purple color, which contrasted with his blue skin quite nicely. A matching dark purple hood hung loosely over the back of his head, and he held a purple staff in one hand.

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" Tabby demanded. "What is with your skin coloring?"

"You've foiled my plan!" the stranger hissed. "I was going to get rid of He-Man in this foreign land, with none of his friends here to help him out!"

"Oh, you know He-Man?" Tabby questioned. "Are you one of those snake-men he was talking about? I have to say, you don't look much like a snake."

"Of course I'm not a snake!" the figure said angrily.

"Then you must be King Hiss," Tabby concluded. "I love that purple color of your hood. What store'd you buy it at?"

"I am Skeletor, you dimwit!" The figure pointed his staff towards Tabby.

"Oh." Tabby nodded knowledgeably. "I think He-Man did mention you. What was that, King Hiss rules over you... or do you rule over the snake-men... that's it! Yes, and you live in Castle Grayskull--"

"Silence!" Skeletor commanded. "Or you may not see the light of day again!"

Tabby eyed Skeletor's staff. "Why the ram's head on the end of that?" she chattered on cheerfully. "You could have gone with a cat instead. Even a hare would've been cool."

"Gee, that's a bit too much green make-up on the face," Merry Treat yawned as she drowsily started to wake up and took in the image of Skeletor. "What-- oh-- is this-- ack!" She leaped up out of her sleeping bag, and wobbly stood on all four hooves, still waiting for her senses to fully awaken. "Tabby, who's this guy with all the weird make-up on?"

"He said he's Skeletor," Tabby said sleepily, putting her head back down on her pillow. "Just go back to bed."

"Why didn't you wake us up sooner?!?!" Merry Treat exclaimed, still gaining all her senses back from being asleep. "I think he means trouble, if not worse, Tabby!"

"I figured he'd just go away," Tabby murmured, her mind shutting down from loss of sleep. "Or else I could've squished him like an annoying fly. Yeah, I could've done that..."

"Fools!" Skeletor cried out. "See, your other friends aren't even awake. You're no match against my powers!"

"Wanna bet?" Merry Treat challenged, bending down and rooting around in her backpack for something. Finally, she held up a small red and white ball.

"What're you doing, MT..." Tabby murmured as her eyes began to close.

"It doesn't matter what she does!" Skeletor shrieked. "With one simple blast from my Havoc Staff, she'll--"

"Not so fast!" Merry Treat held her PokèBall high and called, "Vulpix! Go!"

In a flash of light out of the small ball, a cute little red fox with six tails (though Tabby preferred saying he had a peacock tail, to annoy Clever Clover) appeared in front of Skeletor. "Vulpix!" he exclaimed angrily.

"Your nauseatingly-cute pet cannot harm me," Skeletor sneered.

"Vulpix, Fire-Spin, now!" Merry Treat shouted.

"Oh, this might be cool." Tabby propped herself up on the ground with her forelegs.

"Vulpix, vul!" Vulpix obligingly opened his mouth wide and let loose with his mighty Fire-Spin attack. He blew a tornado-shaped funnel of fire directly at Skeletor.

Through his charred face, Skeletor blinked in surprise. "You-- you-- idiots," he spluttered in a rage.

"Good job, Vulpix!" Merry Treat paused to pat her Pokèmon on the head before picking up the empty PokèBall. "Now, return!" Vulpix disappeared into the ball in another flash of light.

"Oh yeah! Oh yeah!" Tabby cheered.

"You may have won this time," Skeletor warned, "but I'll be back!"

"And I'll test another of my ‘nauseatingly-cute' pets on you then!" Merry Treat taunted.

Skeletor, without a word, picked up his staff from the ground where he had dropped it during Vulpix's Fire-Spin and ran off into the starless night.

"That's a good job done," Merry Treat said contentedly, settling back into her sleeping bag. "We can wait ‘till morning to tell the others." She glanced around at the other motionless bundles around the fire. The only movement detected was when Tess stretched in her sleep and turned around.

" ‘Night again, Tabby." Merry Treat drifted off to sleep again.

With wide-open eyes, Tabby stared into the diminishing flames of the campfire. The excitement of Vulpix's Fire-Spin had sucked all the sleepiness out of her again. Hope morning comes soon, she thought to herself, frowning out of boredom. Then I wouldn't have to lay here for all eternity with nothing to do. I wonder what'll happen tomorrow...

To be continued...

Go Back to TICS Index
Go Back to Tabby's Dream Valley