with technical assistance from Spike, Friendly, and Clever Clover
MWHAHAHAHA!!!! Thought the crossover was at an end, did you? WELL, JUST LOOK AT THIS!!! I'm not beat yet! It's BACK, and hopefully better than ever. However, before you go on to the story, I'd like to explain and clarify a few things that have been bugging me. Of course, I always have a million things I feel the need to explain.
First, don't confuse The Insane Crossover Story world with the regular pony-world I write about in my other stories. Though the Tabby in The Insane Crossover Story has the same personality, occupation, and pets as her "alter-ego", this is an alternate reality completely separated from the other world. What happens in The Insane Crossover Story has not happened in any other stories besides The Insane Crossover Story, even though certain aspects, as in personality of the characters, do remain the same.
And I hope it hasn't sounded too unnatural in past chapters how I've been writing about so many characters at once. See, when I first started the writing of this story, I had planned on having one character from each "world" tag along with the gang; and at the very end, we'd have a reeeeeeally big crowd. However, as I got further along in the story, I found that it was difficult writing in lines for everyone. So I realized it would be distracting and clumsy to have all those characters along at once, so I dropped a lot of them and just kept some of my favorites which could be kept at an easier-managed number.
In having all these characters along, I also felt uncomfortable writing their lines simply because I felt I wasn't capturing their true essence. This was especially true for those I had the deepest respect for (like Tweeg, Pinky, and the Brain). So, not wanting to destroy their character any further, I wrote them out of the story. Now, for the most part, characters will only make an appearance in one chapter; but some will stick around, like He-Man, Sam, and Max.
There's the explanations! And here's the story!
"Now, this is what I call a vacation!" Prince Adam said, leaning back in his lawn chair.
"Tell me about it!" Orko agreed as he tossed a beach ball to a red-haired girl in the pool.
Sam was lounging on a chair alongside the pool, his stuffy old business suit abandoned in favor of a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses. He was sipping an exotic drink with an umbrella pointing out of it. Meanwhile, Max was in the pool, floating on an inflatable alligator while munching on a steaming bowl of spoo. "Nothing like a good bowl of spoo," the little bunny commented.
"But Max, no one eats fresh spoo! It's supposed to be aged first," Sam protested.
"Who would have guessed that attending a Jem concert would have got us into this set-up?" Tabby commented, stretched out and absorbing the sun's rays.
"Really, I didn't think we'd end up staying at Starlight Mansion this long," Tarquin, her Meowth, who was stretched out in a similar pose to his trainer's, agreed.
"Yeah, what has it been, three months?" Adam nodded. "Jem's hospitality amazes me. I knew she was great, but..."
"We haven't had an opportunity to mooch off a rich person in a long time," Sam observed.
"Yes!" Max agreed. "I'd forgotten how much fun it could be."
"Jem!" Tabby snorted. "It's Jerrica that's been giving us the hospitality, Adam. Stop obsessing over Jem."
"Orko, catch!" the red-haired girl cried, tossing the ball back to the floating red t-shirt. Orko was caught unprepared, and was bowled over onto the ground as the momentum of the ball hit him.
"Oops," the girl giggled.
"That's okay, Kimber," Orko said in a slightly dazed voice as he sat up and rubbed his head.
"It has been really nice having you guys here," Shana, another member of Jem's singing group, spoke-up. "Your help at the concerts has been really great."
"We've enjoyed helping you out!" Adam said energetically. "Except for that Rio. He keeps getting in the way. I don't think he's doing a very good job."
"Oh, Rio," Aja laughed. "He's just jealous of your befriending Jem."
"I thought he was Jerrica's boyfriend," Tabby yawned.
Kimber shrugged and brushed it off. "Well, he likes both of them, I guess."
"He should make up his mind one of these days," Tabby said in an unconcerned tone, sipping on her lemonade.
"I know who I'd pick," Adam said distantly. "Jem..."
"Kimber! Nobody cares about Kimber!" Orko said defensively. "She's the best!"
"Aw, thanks, Orko," Kimber said laughingly.
Tabby's nerves were at an end as she jumped up and stood overshadowing Adam and Orko. "Shut up, you guys!!! I'm sick of hearing you obsess over pretty girls. Get a life!!!!"
"Jealous, Tabby?" Tarquin said nonchalantly.
"Shut up."
Max stood up on his inflatable alligator and started chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
"Stop it, little buddy! You should know better than to instigate a fight." Sam picked up a potted plant that was sitting near the pool and threw it at Max. It struck its target and the bunny was propelled into the water. "They're much better when started on their own."
Max crawled out the pool, smiling happily. "Gee, that was fun. Can we do it again?" he said, shaking out his water-logged fur.
"What was that, Tabby?" Adam said in a distracted tone. He had not noticed the unicorn's outburst, having caught site of Jem's silhouette in the house. Upon realizing it was only Jerrica, he turned back to his companions in disappointment.
"We're supposed to be accomplishing something on this trip," Tabby seethed, "and all you want to do is lounge around the pool and talk about Jem."
"And Kimber," Orko interrupted.
"What are we supposed to be accomplishing?" Tarquin questioned.
Tabby paused. "Good point. Well, we still ought to be doing something."
"Merry Treat did something," Adam pointed out.
"Yeah, she ran off and eloped with that James dude," Tabby recalled. "You're all turning into a bunch of romantic fools."
"I can't believe Tess opted to stay with Merry Treat instead of hanging out with us," Tarquin muttered.
Tabby patted his head in consolation. "It's okay, Tarkie."
"Hey, look!" Kimber's voice pierced through their conversation as she pointed at the small portable TV screen sitting next to the pool. "That weirdo is on the news again."
"Who? Lin-Z Pierce?" Sam questioned.
"What's this?" Jerrica queried, coming out through the patio door and joining the rest of the group. Rio was with her. "Has there been another robbery?"
"What in the world is everyone talking about???" Tabby demanded.
Everyone finally quieted down enough to listen to the actual news report. "...the perpetrator of the rash of crimes having occurred the past several months in southern California. Numerous convenience stores have been robbed of their powdered sugar donuts by this thief who has not yet been identified or apprehended. Eye-witness reports indicate merely that the suspect is tall and strangely dressed..." the announcer droned on.
"The guy that dresses strangely? That could describe any number of rock n' roll musicians," Max commented.
"Boring," Tabby yawned. "What's he got for powdered sugar donuts?"
Prince Adam seemed to be the most affected by the announcement on the news, though. "Woah, this is scary stuff," he said, slipping towards the door of the mansion. "I'm going up to my room."
"You wimp!" Rio shouted, grabbing Adam by the collar of his shirt as he passed by. "Some prince you are! Scared by some little news broadcast? Jem's too good for you!"
"Rio, calm down!" Jerrica cried.
"Ah, but the true nature of one's courage can be determined by the color of one's hair," Adam said bluntly.
"I-I guess you're right," Rio admitted, reluctantly releasing him. And Adam continued on his way to do whatever it was he was planning on doing.
"What just went on there?" Tabby wondered.
"I think you and about three hundred other readers are wondering that now," Max said.
"While Prince Adam goes off to sulk, we'll go to the thief's next target and wait for him there," Sam proposed.
"Prince Adam?" Max said.
"No, the thief, little buddy."
"But how are we going to figure out where he's going to strike next?" Aja questioned.
"Simple," Sam said. Shortly, the crew was standing outside a downtown convenience store. Jerrica and Rio had decided to accompany Tabby's group. "So here we are at the thief's next target," Sam continued.
"See how easy that was?" Max added.
"Umm, and how did you figure this out again?" Jerrica asked.
"Wheeee!" said Tabby. "It's exciting! What do we do now?"
"We case the joint and wait for the perfect time to strike," Max said.
"Wrong again, little buddy! You're thinking of the bad guys, the criminals," Sam corrected.
"Oh, yeah," Max said with a huge toothy grin.
"Oh," Tabby said again. "So what do we do?"
"I think we should just wait for the thief to show his ugly face," Tarquin suggested.
After Tabby had been straightened out, the six of them moved into the store and inconspicuously browsed the aisles. Tabby tried to look at the food items with interest, but found herself getting bored irregardless. They had just eaten a snack shortly before leaving the mansion, and the thought of food just didn't appeal to her.
She noticed the place on the shelf for powdered sugar donuts, and recalled that they were the thief's prey. She wondered what was so important about powdered sugar donuts.
Jerrica and Rio just stood around looking out-of-place. Sam was heating up a burrito in the microwave, explaining to everyone the value of a good burrito. Max was in the beverage aisle, sampling various flavors of soda straight from the bottles.
Tarquin pretended to browse a magazine rack, but kept a close eye on the door. And when he heard a catchy disco tune playing, he knew something was about to happen.
"There's no such thing as a catchy disco tune!" Max cried.
A tall, thin woman entered the store. Her long blonde hair fell over the sweeping red cape she wore, and an ornate gold mask bordered her face. A white top and filmy skirt finished off the outfit. Somehow, her garb was even stranger than that of the Holograms.
The woman casually walked up to the counter, picking up a bottle of Diet Pepsi on her way– one of the few which Max had not yet opened. She set the soda down on the counter, and announced her intentions to the clerk. "I would like to purchase this."
Upon seeing the woman in the unusual gear, the store clerk immediately began to panic and backed up against the wall. "Ah!! It's you, isn't it? You're the one they've been talkin' about on the news! Look, I'm not lookin' for any trouble, okay? Just–"
The woman only stood at the counter, looking puzzled. Tabby wondered if this unusual character was the thief. She seemed, though, to somehow resemble someone she already knew.
Meanwhile, the woman was trying to explain herself. "My name is She-Ra. I only wish to help you apprehend Hordack, my arch-enemy..."
"I don't care who you are or what you're doing here!" the clerk said frantically. "You're here to steal our powdered sugar donuts, and I won't allow them to get into your hands!"
Sam and Max soon took control of the situation in their own way. Max jumped at the girl and began chewing at her ankles as Sam drew his gun and demanded that she drop the soda. "Back away from the counter and keep your hands where I can see them," he cried.
"Please, let me explain," She-Ra pleaded, leaving the soda bottle on the counter and seeming not to notice the lagomorph gnawing at her feet. "Hordack is the one you want, not me. And I'm here to help you defeat him!"
Tabby glanced over at Tarquin. Tarquin shrugged. They both looked over at Sam and Max. They didn't reply. Tarquin unsheathed his claws and leaped onto She-Ra's face.
"Get out of here, Jerrica! I'll handle this!" Rio said, pushing his girlfriend out of the way. He jumped forward, but it was at the wrong time. Just at that moment, Tarquin was winding up for another round of fury swipes; but as he wound back his paw, he accidently hit Rio in the face and sent the engineer flying.
The store was in chaos. No one was clear on what was going on or who the enemy was, and fists flew freely. Tabby stood back and watched with interest, chatting with Jerrica occasionally on the effect eighties eye make-up would have on the environment.
In the ensuing chaos, another figure entered the store. This one was much more villainous-looking than She-Ra, though it took those in the fight awhile to realize that there was someone new among them.
Everyone stopped in mid-attack with She-Ra standing in their midst, holding Max around the throat at arm's length. Rio was trying hopelessly to pull her off her balance, and Tarquin was preparing to pounce.
"Hordack!" She-Ra cried, dropping Max and brandishing her sword. "What are you doing here?"
"She's got a... sword!" Sam cried.
Hordack boldly strolled forward, laughing as he went. "Hah-hah-hah. The powdered sugar donuts will be mine. And you will not be able to stop me, She-Ra." His ridged head and evil grimace did indeed make him look villainous as he strolled down the food aisle.
"Never!" declared She-Ra. "I won't let you disrupt the lives of the citizens of this country, Hordack! Your treachery has gone far enough!"
"Hah-hah-hah!" Hordack laughed, reemerging from the snack aisle with the box of donuts. "Try and stop me! Soon I will have enough donuts to conquer the universe! Hah-hah-hah!"
It soon became clear that Hordack was the real foe, and everyone jumped on him. Further chaos ensued. Rio, angered at his inability to hold up against his super-powered foes, became outraged and with a running start threw himself at Hordack, tackling him about the waist. The box of donuts flew from Hordack's hand, and landed right at Tabby's hooves.
"Hee hee! I have the donuts!" Tabby exclaimed hyperly, jumping around the battle scene and holding her prize up high.
"No! Give them to me!" Max cried.
"Don't listen to him!" Hordack growled, advancing toward the unicorn. "I must have them!"
Giggling, Tabby winked up to the top of a tall display of canned soup. "Hee hee! Catch me first!"
As he was distracted, Tarquin and She-Ra took the opportunity to pounce on Hordack. "Fools! You'll not take me that easily!" he shouted, jostling them aside. Then, grabbing Jerrica by the throat, he held her face mere inches from the spinning blades imbedded in his chest.
"Jem!" Rio cried in agony. "I mean-- Jerrica!"
"Rio!" Jerrica exclaimed in anguish.
"Sam!" Max expressed.
"Tabby!" Sam articulated.
"She-Ra!" Tabby conveyed.
"Would you all shut up? This is serious," Rio snapped.
"Hordack!" She-Ra said forcefully. "You'll never get away with this."
"If you let me escape with the donuts, I'll let this pathetic creature escape with her life," Hordack said menacingly.
"I don't know if that's a fair trade. She screams an awful lot," Max said.
"Sam– I mean, Max– you know better than that! The value of a life is worth at least a bag of donuts, but not a whole box," Sam argued.
She-Ra turned her head toward the camera. "But Hordack never keeps his promises," she announced solemnly.
Tabby looked at the donuts, and then down at the ground. She pondered what to do. Surely one box of powdered sugar donuts couldn't do any harm, even in the hands of Hordack. But then she saw Max below her, waving his arms excitedly. "Throw 'em to me! Throw 'em to me!"
That decided it for Tabby. Surely the little white bunny was the right choice. In a single deft motion, she tossed the box down to him. She didn't know what he'd do from there, but at least she didn't have to worry about them anymore.
Max tossed them back into the air. "Sam! Catch!" As it flew through the air, the box of donuts split open. The sugary confections spilled out, every one of them falling one-by-one into Sam's mouth. He promptly swallowed them down. "They're not Glazed McGuffins, but they'll do," he mumbled, his mouth still half full.
"Ahh!! Not my donuts!!" Hordack cried in anguish. "How could you just eat them!!"
"Oh, it's easy. Just open your mouth and chew."
"Hordack! I knew I'd find you here!" He-Man suddenly appeared in the doorway, sword in hand.
"What took you so long?" Tabby queried innocently.
"Without Battlecat, I was forced to rely on public transportation."
Hordack looked from He-Man to She-Ra, and then to the empty box of donuts at the feet of Sam. "You've foiled me this time, but it won't be so easy when next we meet," he said menacingly, taking the opportunity to flee from the scene. As he walked out onto the street, he could be heard muttering to himself, "Glazed McGuffins... that's it!"
He-Man and She-Ra congratulated each other on a job well done. "He-Man, it's so good to see you again," She-Ra said, shaking her friend's hand warmly.
"Alas, but I wish Hordack had not been the cause of this meeting," He-Man agreed. "It would seem that our fight for justice will never end."
"But with our strong and loyal friends, we will never be fully overcome by the evils that ravage the land," She-Ra declared.
"Like poly-saturated fats?" Sam added with a belch.
"And how could you mistake me for Jem?" Jerrica snapped at Rio. "Do you like her better than me?"
"No, no. I was just confused. The heat of the moment--"
He-Man walked up to the pair. "If I had such an attractive girlfriend, I wouldn't be confusing her with someone else," he said compassionately to Jerrica.
"Look, man! I don't need you muscling in on my girl!" Rio growled, pointing an angry finger in He-Man's chest.
Jerrica smiled demurely at He-Man and then turned to face She-Ra. "I see you're into disco, Ms... She-Ra. Would you be interested in a recording contract?"
"Thank you for your kind offer, but I'm afraid I just don't have the time to make a musical career for myself. My people are greatly oppressed by the Evil Horde, and I must continue to fight to free our land."
Other small bits of small talk followed, and everyone finally gravitated from the store out onto the sidewalk. The apprehension of Hordack seemed to have made a natural point to part ways with Jerrica, Rio, and the Holograms; and goodbyes were eventually said.
"It has been wonderful making your acquaintance, Ms. Benton," He-Man said charmingly, kissing her hand. "I hope to meet you again in the future."
"Yes, so do I," Jerrica smiled. Rio glowered in the background.
Waving their final farewells, Tabby, Tarquin, Sam, Max, He-Man, and She-Ra walked off into the sunset. Jerrica and Rio waved back at them until they were all but specks on the horizon.
"Say, where's Orko?" Tarquin was heard to comment as they walked forward across the sandy beach.
"Hmm," Tabby considered. "We must have left him by the pool."
"Hey, and why are we wading into the Pacific Ocean?" Max interjected.
And so closes yet another chapter of The Insane Crossover Story. Outrageous, huh?